All Signs Point to Denial

Seeing the occasional grey hair sprout from my temple doesn’t really affect me much, nor does the knowledge that I graduated from high school 10 years ago. Those are milestones and moments that barely cause a pause in my stride and warrant only a minor “hmmm.” However, the following situations (particularly all lumped together) hit me on the head like a jet plane’s wheels on a tarmac: heavy man, heavy.
1. Not So Much “Forever 21”
I view the clothing at Forever 21 as relatively current and interesting, and I don’t mind paying $18.00 for a shirt that will last just as long as it’s in style. So, at the start of a season, I typically head into the store to pick up a thing or two. The last few times I’ve been in there I’ve noticed how much taller I am than the rest of the patrons, and it’s not so much that I’m this gargantuan woman, it’s that all the other girls milling about are just that— girls. (Which, as an aside, explains why I’m unable to wear a bra with nearly every top or dress I’ve bought there; I’m the lone customer who is not prepubescent.)
On my last trip there, I grabbed a few items I thought looked fun, and a sales associate approached me: “Ma’am, would you like a fitting room?” Sure do, thanks. Fast forward to check out 20 minutes later: “Did you find everything you were looking for, ma’am?” Yep, great, gracias. I start to make my way towards the exit, my new summer shirts burning a hole in my hot pink F21 bag, and I literally stop in my tracks…

WAS I JUST CALLED MA’AM TWICE IN A ROW BY TWO DIFFERENT CHICKS?!?!

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod… I can never return… I am soooo not 21 anymore.

Damn.

2. Back When I Was Your Age…
I adore my mentee, and though we’re nine years (and a few worlds) apart, I consider her a friend, which is why this little episode stunned me.
C and I are sitting at Starbucks having a nice chat, and she mentions her baby sister is at the local community college’s College for Kids program.
Lola: “Oh yeah? That’s so cool. I did that. I think I took architecture or something…”
C: “Really? You were a teacher?”
L: “Noooo, C… I was a student. I was a kid once, too, you know…” My heart sinks.
C: “Oh yeah!” And she thinks this is hysterical.

Damn.

3. Movin’ On Up
The day I joined my PR firm, I was the youngest person on staff, a status I held onto for at least a year. Over the years I slowly gained ground on the other spectrum, but just recently with a few staff changes here and there, I suddenly became the second oldest person in the office. How in the hell did this happen?

DAMN!

Time to face the signs: I have a young heart, an old soul, and there are now adults who are younger than me.

old lady


2 thoughts on “All Signs Point to Denial

  1. A server called me mam’n (sp?) at lunch this afternoon, and I was quite tempted to write on the comment card that such references put one’s tip in danger. However, the tip was not deducted, and I decided to assume the reference was due to Southern manners as opposed to age.

  2. hilarious. And being called ma’am was the first sign to me too. I have a copy delivery guy who always says, “Will that be all ma’am?” and he can’t be a day under 23. I guess using the fact that I still get carded is a faulty way to reason that I still could pass for 19!

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